Cry Baby

Last post was not a good start of the year. But i have a feeling that this post wouldn't be any different. I didn't ask for this. I hate it when there's too much negativity in my head but i can't help it. I'm not sick but my eyes are swelling, my hands are shaking and my whole body is just too weak. There's a lot of things running through my head about why is this happening? Truth is, i love my family. But i dont think they understand me. They dont see the way i see things, they dont know what i want, they dont care about what i feel, they just dont bother to know what makes me happy. And they're being unfair. Being fair is very important to me. Nobody should get more or less than what everyone else is getting. Ever heard of this kind of personality? I told you i'm The Scale. Balance is what we seek.

Right now, i feel alone. Even if in a place so crowded with people, i'd still feel alone. Nobody for me to talk my heart out. He's busy with his thing and don't even have time to have some deep conversation. Arguing would be pointless. I know this is what he has been wanting for so long and nothing could stop him. Not even his studies and future which was reminded to him everyday. Friends... hmm i don't think there's any 'cry friends'. So i'm just gonna face this thing alone. I don't like being anyone's burden. Outside i may seem cheerful but inside i'm such a cry baby :(