Heart Pouring

Okay let me get it straight here. I've been so cool towards every single thing that you are saying about me, assumed me, judge me. Everything u post in your blog, twitter, fb status. I just stay calm and respond nothing to it. Wanna know why? Because i'm being the water. You know, people say when someone is so mad at you they're the fire and you don't fight fire with fire. I know you're mad and i'm being the wise one to just handled it like a grown up girl. But to be honest here, i can't take it anymore. I've had enough . You know, other people got pride too. Don't go around and say things about me without you come see me and ask about it first. Maybe you're thinking that i did that to you in the first place but the thing is, until to this day, i still haven't got the clear view about what is it that your are so mad about.What is the thing that the "teller" told you? Don't punish someone who doesn't even know what they did wrong. It's just pure unfair.

I'm not blaming anyone here. Not even the "teller" which i have no idea who. You said this thing happened before. And it got me puzzled why didn't i know anything at all for all this while. I thought we're being honest through our friendship all along. You should have told me what is it about me that bugs you. If you did that, i'm sure this thing won't be this hard and you won't burst you anger like this.

My emotions are mixed. But frankly, there's no hatred or anger. More to disappointment and sadness i guess. It's sad seeing your best friend believed what others said about you without finding out about what is happening. I'm not saying that i'm right. But hearing both side of the story won't hurt. You didn't expect to judge someone with just hearing from 2 3 people did you? Not everybody is going to like me. But you should know me better. I'm not gonna write down things that i have done for you because all this while i am sincere. We've been friends since like when, 2008? It's 2012 now, and that makes it a 5 freaking years of friendship. I still remembered our life back then in the hostel. Goshhhh one of the best memories in my life. Before this everything is okay. You got my back and i got yours. And noww? What can i say. You don't even care if we lose this friendship because i guess you got tons of friends. I don't have tons of friends, just a bunch. But i make sure they're the type who have faith in their friends. Yeap i'd go for quality over quantity.

Some people even told me that i should just walk away from you because it's not worth it to fight for someone who never fight back for you when this kind of situation come. But i refuse to do that. I wish i could tell all this right to your face but it seems like you don't have the heart to even look at me anymore. There's so many things that i wanted to talk about but nahhh it's just so heart breaking. I'll back off if that is what's best for us both.